


Home

by KeeperofSeeds



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Homecoming, Iron Man 1, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Robot Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 21:03:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8342605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeeperofSeeds/pseuds/KeeperofSeeds
Summary: Tony struggles with believing he is back home after Afghanistan. JARVIS helps talk him through a flashback.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Twenty-Twelve](https://archiveofourown.org/works/272063) by [sheafrotherdon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheafrotherdon/pseuds/sheafrotherdon). 



> I really loved the little pieces of back story that sheafrotherdon hinted at in her Twenty-Twelve fic, the small interactions between Tony & JARVIS especially really stuck with me so I decided to elaborate a bit based on what she wrote.   
> Most of JARVIS & Tony’s speech is taken directly from her fic.

Tony woke with a jerk and was already stumbling the couple of feet to the small, rickety table he had designated as his work bench before he fully opened his eyes.

 Someone was coming and he had to hide the armor plans. He couldn’t let them get their hands on it he’d barely just started building and it was too soon and he needed more time and-

Tony paused, heart pounding.

That wasn’t the work bench in front of him, but a dresser.

His dresser.

The one in his Malibu house.

How strange.

He decided to take a chance and called out,

 “JARVIS?  JARVIS are you –“

_I'm here, sir._

“Is this –“

_California, sir._

“You're sure?”

_Quite sure._

The panicked fog over his brain was slowly receding.

His hand was still out, reaching towards a work bench that wasn’t there. Reaching to hide evidence that had since been blown up.

He took a few more steps forward until his hand hit the wall – his wall in Malibu. Smooth, pale wallpaper on a wall that was nothing like the rough, damp interior of the cave.

He was back. Had been for weeks now. Why couldn’t his brain remember this?  He let his head drop forward and hit the wall with a soft thud. He closed his eyes and concentrated on taking slow, deep breaths, in and out. He concentrated on the smooth texture of the wall, the slightly dusty smell of his bedroom, the small comforting sounds, the creaks of an empty house and the distant rhythm of the ocean reassuring him that he _was_ back. That he was safe.

After a few moments of this JARVIS, almost hesitantly, speaks up,

_Perhaps you might tell me what you see, sir?_

“See?”

_Around you._

"I…saw the cave again," he admits in a whisper.

And just like that he’s back. Curled tight on the ground, breathing deep, trying to get the damp dirt smell out of his sinus as he sucks in air. His hands gripped tight around the car battery, clutching it tight, away from grabby hands away from those who would pull it and the connecting magnet from his chest, away from the water, away from danger.

He is pulled up and face shoved back under water.

He flounders, struggling to hold his breath, to stop water from getting up his nose. With his hands occupied he has no way to steady himself. The rough hands on his head and back do nothing to prevent his feet from slipping in the mud and grime surrounding the bucket. His shoulders jerking, fighting instinctively against rough grips his lung _aching_ with the need for air.

The panic is back.

Is the car battery still working?  What if a wire is pulled loose Yinsen will have to operate again and they are out of pain meds and he hasn’t had a chance yet to start building-

**No.**

Tony’s hands curl into fists, ragged nails digging into his palms. Grounding him. Keeping him back in the present. Back in his house. There isn’t any danger here.    
Maybe if he thinks it hard enough it will eventually get through to his psyche.

He can see the cool glow of the reactor, but he needs conformation. Taking slow, deep breaths he pulls down the neck line of his shirt enough to see the reactor, still shining away, see the mostly healed scars scattered around it.   


_Would you like me to describe the current local conditions, Sir?_

He rubs a hand over his face before replying. "Sure. Why not? It couldn't hurt."

 

He lies back down in bed, trying to force his heart beat to slow, to mentally make his muscles relax. He tries to focus on the sound of JARVIS' voice relaying information about the temperature outside, the tide, and any other random information the AI can think to list.

It isn’t working.           

He still feels twitchy and on edge. His breathe has slowly but he's still too aware of the feel each beat of his heart echoing through his body. He rolls over with a drawn out sigh. Might as well get up and do something useful. Better than lying around listening to his thoughts go round and round.

 

_Can you sleep, sir?_ JARVIS asks.

“I'll just go downstairs and work for a bit.”

_Is that wise?_

“Is sitting here any wiser?”

JARVIS doesn’t reply as Tony makes his way down the lab.  The lights in the house are on low. He can see the reactor’s reassuring glow reflected in the glass windows and paneling as he slowly makes his way downstairs. He takes comfort from the smooth railing under his fingers and the familiar hum of equipment that greets him downstairs.

* * *

He doesn’t actually work once he’s there. He wanders around the lab, touching equipment, remembering half-finished projects, taking comfort in the familiar. A significant amount of dust had settled over everything in the three months he was gone. Everything is exactly as he left it.

He lets the familiarity wash over him. Finally feels his heart beat calming from its earlier panicked racing.

Then he feels a nudge on his thigh and twitches away instinctively, back to the wall.  
But its only DUM-E.

He slides down the wall and reaches out again. DUM-E rolls forward and bumps again his hand. Tony pats at the joint. DUM-E clicks his claw together before rolling backwards and over to one of his benches. The shuffle of papers and clang of metal are a comforting back noise and he closes his eyes, breathing slowly out.

Before he can fall back into a light doze DUM-E is back, nudging at his knee. Tony opens his eyes and finds DUM-E holding out a wrench. He looks almost expectantly, well as much as a robot can look anything.

Tony finds himself fighting back unexpected tears. He's missed this.

"Good boy DUM-E," he chokes out, quickly wiping at his eyes with his sleeve and reaching for the wrench.

He sits there on the floor, sniffling and smiling and holding the wrench, while patting at DUM-E, that he starts to shiver.

The clock across the room says it's a quarter after 4 in the morning. Maybe he should try again to get some sleep.

He manages to dig a quilt out of one of the cluttered closets, an old gift from Mrs. A, if he remembers rightly, and curls up with it on the cot in the corner of the room. He can’t help one last check though.

"JARVIS… double the rate of feedback from the perimeters; wake me if anything –"

_Yes, sir. I'll keep watch._

Reassured, Tony breathes deep and relaxes, lulled to sleep by the steady hum of machines. The sounds of home.

 


End file.
